Carpool Lane Continued

This story is a continuation of the story carpool lane. To read the beginning of the story click on the link for “Carpool Lane” on the right side of this site, or scroll down to see the story. Thanks for reading!

My alarm clock jolted me out of bed at 6:00 am. It was cold and still black as night outside. I couldn’t help but think of how fortunate I was for the discovery of the light bulb; the genius invention that made man independent of the sun. I rolled over in bed and contemplated the scenario I would face later that day. How could I possibly avoid the carpool lane now? I had tasted speed and knew exactly what it tasted like. I concluded to take the only plausible course of action that morning; I called in sick. The only thing that could be better than illegally driving in the carpool lane was to avoid the commute altogether. Besides, if my package was on schedule, it should have been arriving that same day.

The mailman in our neighborhood usually comes in the late afternoon. Oddly enough, knowing his schedule didn’t help my impatience throughout the day. I paced anxiously through the house. Every time a car drove by or a door slammed I flew to the window to see if my package had arrived. Each time I met with disappointment. The sounds that had sent me flying to the window were just something like Judy, the neighborhood snoop across the street; or Russell, the guy next door who was perpetually recovering from an appendectomy.

I grew more anxious as the day went on; 3:00 pm came and went. 3:30. 4:00. 4:30. I sat and watched the digital clock on my microwave; each minute that passed brought a sudden flash and then the far right digit would increase one number. This process repeated itself until the digit hit nine, and then it would start all over again at zero. My anxiety was making me crazy. The sound of the door bell snapped me out of my trance. I ran to the door, the whole while praying it wasn’t nosey Judy just stopping by to be neighborly.

I opened the door to see a pair of blue shorts and a matching hat. The mailman was trying to steady himself as he held a large, awkward looking box. “This one wouldn’t fit in the box”, he yelled at me with a smile. I swung the door wide open and helped him set the box just inside our doorway. He stepped back outside; I never looked up or said a word as I closed the door behind him.

I stood in my living room, smiling down at the box; the contents of which were the answer to my dilemma with the carpool lane. As of that day, I knew that all of my worries about traffic violations and high-speed chases were now a thing of the past.

 My wife came around the corner and began questioning me as soon as she saw that a package had arrived. “What is that?” she asked. “Did you order that?” Without as much as a nod in response, I kneeled next to the box and began tearing at the tape on the seams. After what seemed to be much more time than it should take to open a package we were able to gaze into the box. I reached into the sea of packing peanuts and felt a hard plastic surface. When I was able to get a good grip I attempted to the lift the contents out of the box. My wife rushed to help by holding the box to the floor. Packing peanuts went everywhere as we struggled to remove the contents. Finally it was free and we were able to see what I had waited for so anxiously, the solution to the difficult situation I had been wrestling with; a full sized, male mannequin.  

“What is that for?” my wife gaffed, as she began to laugh. “What are you gonna do with that?” I knew exactly what I was going to do with it and it wouldn’t take me long to put it together either. I ran down the hall to our bedroom and grabbed an old Chicago Bulls t-shirt I had bought at a garage sale. With the t-shirt in hand, I ran to the garage to find the box where we kept our Halloween gear. A few minutes later I returned to the living room where my wife was waiting with a confused look on her face. She had come to the realization that she wasn’t going to get any information out of me until I was done with the task at hand, so she stood quietly to the side and watched me dress the mannequin.

I pulled the Bulls t-shirt over the mannequin’s arms and shoulders, and then I positioned a black, mullet wig and a brown coca-cola hat, that I had found in the Halloween gear in the garage, on the mannequin’s head. It was coming to life, but I knew it needed something more. I walked to the kitchen and opened a drawer in the hutch that sat in the corner. In the drawer was a pair of silver, aviator sunglasses; they fit perfectly on the mannequin’s head.

I set the mannequin, now dressed from the waste up, on the couch in the living room. Its legs bent easily at the waste and again at the knees, allowing it to sit on the couch with no support. “This”, I said “is the answer I have been looking for. It’s gonna cut my commute down by 30 minutes a day, and I won’t have to worry about being pulled over either”.

My wife did not look impressed. “What about its legs?” she asked. “They’re completely naked. You’re going to look like a creep driving around with a half naked mannequin in your car.” She was making a valid point, but I didn’t care. “It will be just fine” I said. “Nobody is going to see the legs, and I’ll be able to drive in the carpool lane all I want.” She looked me dead in the eyes and exhaled slowly, “You know what?” she said. “You’re an idiot.”

The next morning, under the cover of dark, I slipped the mannequin into the passenger seat of my car. I was relieved to see that the seat belt held it tight against the seat, so I wouldn’t have to worry about it shifting during the drive. I took the I-17 north until it intersected with the 101, this was the moment of truth; my first time in the carpool lane with my new companion. It was a smooth transition into the carpool lane. There was no worrying about watching my rearview mirrors or making sure I knew which cars were around me; and there was no worrying about finding a buffer. I sped down the freeway with ease and comfort. To my right I could see the non-carpoolers as they struggled to switch from lane to lane in a feeble attempt to save a few minutes. I laughed to myself; didn’t they know that there is no fast lane?

Once at work, I breathed a sigh of relief. The maiden voyage had been a success and there was nowhere to go but up. I leaned over to the passenger seat and bent the mannequin forward at the hips. His entire upper body was able to lay flat across his legs and knees. I reached into the back seat and grabbed a small blanket to spread over the mannequin.  He was pretty well concealed; this would protect me from annoying inquiries from coworkers. Of course having the mannequin in my car meant I could never drive to lunch with any of my coworkers either, but I didn’t consider that a huge loss. I smiled as I realized that I had attained a permanent feeling of freedom; the same feeling that I had feared would never last, only one week before. I walked with a skip in my step as I entered the building.

That day at work could not have been any more normal. There were no surprises, no new assignments, and no difficult interactions. I sat at my desk and worked at my regular tasks, the whole time not really thinking much about the drive home. I almost forgot about the passenger waiting in my car, until I was walking toward the parking lot. The clouds above me were forming into a thick pattern all across the sky. The sun broke through only occasionally in long bright beams. The clouds themselves were turning into a dark orange color, almost like the sky was combusting into a giant fireball. It gave me an ominous feeling.

I entered the freeway and quickly merged left to the carpool lane. The ominous feeling I had experienced made me think that I was pushing my luck, so I committed to driving no more than the speed limit despite being in a lane that would allow me to travel much faster. The cars and their drivers to the right of me were just blurs. I no longer looked down on them or pitied them; in fact at that point they meant nothing to me. I was in a trance and not really thinking of anything, when I heard a sound that made my heart sink. A quick look in the review mirror confirmed my fear; a highway patrol car was right behind me, and it expected me to pull over.

To be continued…